…I have already graduated. I feel as though my life at college is over, even though it is only half-way through.

I don’t know why. I can’t define why I’m feeling this way, and I can’t reason it away. Maybe because I made so very many senior friends, and I know that next year I will be coming back to a school that is more empty for me. I will know so many fewer faces on campus. I’ll meet more people, sure. I will make new friends and have new connections. And when I sit at graduation this coming year, I will know so many more of the names read, be proud of so many more people. Somehow, that doesn’t feel real.

I feel as though I should be packing for New York. Moving. On with my life, getting a real one. Not the life I have at college. Maybe because I’m just so disappointed with myself, and how I acted this semester.

I let myself slip so much further back in to my depression, and my stupid ways. What am I doing with a GPA that’s below a 3.0. This isn’t me. It never has been. Sure, interim reports, sometimes actual report cards, I got Cs. It wasn’t a big deal then. It didn’t matter.

I’m pledging, to myself, to do better this coming year. To not have unprotected sex anymore. (I’m a fucking idiot.) If it means going back on ADD medication, then it means being on ADD medication. If it means being on anti-anxiety medication, or something, then that’s what it means. I’m so sick of being this girl. The one who can’t sleep at normal hours, who can’t do her work, who can’t focus on shit. The unclean one, whose friends hate her, secretly. Who gets compared to someone who we’ve always said we hated.

I just want to be normal.

(via teenagerposts)

<3

(Source: dontcry4othersbut4you)

(Source: skate-high, via joey-jankun)

(Source: frenchie0601, via joey-jankun)

It should be illegal for him to wear shirts.

(Source: lunanderson, via fuckyeahmarksalling)

So very, very true.

(Source: oceanwide-, via vampdiaries)

1. What is your best friends name?
2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
3. What are you listening to right now?
4. Whats your favorite number?
5. What was the last thing you ate?
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
7. How is the weather right now?
8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone?
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
10. Do you have a significant other?
11. Favorite TV show?
12. Siblings?
13. Height?
14. Hair color?
15. Eye Color?
16. Do you wear contacts?
17. Favorite Holiday?
18. Month?
19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
20. What was the last movie you watched?
21. Favorite Day of the Year?
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
24. Hugs or Kisses?
25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
27. Who is most likely to respond to a text from you?
28. Who is least likely to respond to a text from you?
29. What books are you reading?
30. Piercings?
31. Favorite movies?
32. Favorite football Team?
33. What are you doing right now?
34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
37. Dogs or cats?
38. Favorite flower?
39. Been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to do?
40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
41. Have you ever loved someone?
42. Who would you like to see right now?
43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
44. Have you ever fired a gun?
45. Do you like to travel by plane?
46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
48. Are you missing someone?
49. Do you have a tattoo?
50. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

if you do this I will honestly love you forever.

(Source: louis-asslinson, via alyssafordays)

(via teenagerposts)

This is just too adorable.

(Source: fairyrainbows, via isthis-how-marilyn-monroe-felt)

(via sweatmorebleedless)

(Source: hootingblues, via enamouravecamour)

We talk about them hesitantly, tiptoeing around specifics and avoiding his name as though saying it aloud will resuscitate something better off dead, as though five random letters strung together in the correct order could summon the most lifeless parts of us. We talk about them in whispers, like making it difficult for our audience to hear our regrets will somehow make them easier to say. We talk about them cautiously, because we might get carried away and remember them like a human and not like a topic to avoid at dinner parties and birthday celebrations and other places where we’re supposed to be happy. When we talk about the people we no longer know, we do it timidly because we’re prone to remembering things better than they were, because we know we’re saying all of the right words to the wrong ears, because we never really knew our strangers to begin with — a truth our hearts can only acknowledge in the quietest and smallest of voices.

This reading, from Thought Catalog, really got to me today. This is what we do with J. I don’t say his first name, I refer to him by last name only. He’s gone from J, someone I knew so intimately, who I thought wanted the same things as me, to D (which is so strange, since he isn’t THE D), someone who I can barely stand to be around. When R told me that he might be at the party last night…my heart stopped. I wanted him to be there. I wanted to see him, to demand answers from him, to know whether or not he had read my letter. Because I wrote him a letter, a seven-page letter, that I left for him and have asked him if he’s read. He’s refused to answer me. I can’t deal with not knowing if he’s read it. That’s literally the only thing I want. I would like a real response, I’d like to hear his thoughts on what I said, but honestly, the only thing I need from J(D) is to know he has read it.

I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

(via tommy-hoe-ratliff)

Florence + The Machine - Breath of Life

(Source: westrydersilverbullet, via cherrywhore)